Back to the future

The mist on the mountain was thick, gray and heavy so we lit some candles. Alfred was ready to tell me my future and i was ready to hear it.

I sat in front of him in his traditional mud house. I was asked to sit perfectly straight and to not fold my arms or cross my legs. He brought out a small container holding corries, cola-nut shells and old beer bottle tops. He presented the container to me and asked that i put my hand over it. He then poured the contents and they scattered erratically on the mud floor. He ran his fingers over the pieces then looked me straight in the eye, it was incredibly intimidating but also fascinating at the same time. He looked back at the scattered assortment of flotsam on the floor and exuded an ominous grumbling.

He did not speak English so Ines translated from Pidgin, it was time to ask him some questions. I first of all asked what i was going to do when i left Cameroon. He said what i'm doing is very important here and when i go back i may have to leave again as someone will want me to work for them. I am also going to get a promotion and maybe work for the government.

I asked him will i ever get married? He gave me a wry smile and said 'why do you ask questions that you already know the answer to'. Will i have any kids? Back to the floor studying the chaos, a grumbling sound emitted then he stared at me and said 'yes, you will have a girl then a boy'. I asked him about my family, he said my sister Yolanda will go traveling and when she returns she will have a baby.

This was all pretty specific so i decided to inquire if i will ever get to see the world? A look, a grumble and a stare 'No' was his simple disappointing reply.

'What will happen to my friends?' He asked for a name and the first person i could think of was Phil. He said Phil will do well in life but he will have an accident, it will not be serious, but if he's not careful, it will happen.

As though this wasn't surreal enough a wee baby goat wandered into the room and stared at me, it then walked over to the candle on the floop and i had to stop it from burning its nose.

Now let me say that the universe is a pretty awesome place and all the secrets of why we are here are not yet defined, despite what the good books say. The world is magical and abundant with mystery. However, i don't believe we as humans have magic powers. I don't believe in miracles because they are illogical and have no place in a universe that has stringent laws of nature at its very core. So when a man looks at some shells and bottle tops and claims to see the myriad of possibilities and consequences that occur to shape the future, i'm afraid i become skeptical. This is something Ines and i debate quite frequently and no matter how many stories she has heard will convince me. It's all wish-thinking and we all can dream pretty big when we put our minds to it.

So i have seen an African witch doctor which is pretty cool, something to tell the grandkids sometime in the unwritten future.....