So i conducted a wee experiment last night where i shut my eyes and thought about the past six months of my life in Cameroon. Here are the main memories that i scribbled down.
Stepping of a plane in Douala to the blistering heat and a chancer in ripped jeans claiming to be the passport inspector asking to see my passport.....Buying watermelon off a wee girl who had them perched on her bonce in a busy market.....Seeing Mount Cameroon for the first time after it had been shrouded in clouds for three weeks.....Flying through the jungle on a dirt road in a death mobile with eight other people.....Walking with Ines and her son to the house of a Rastafarian.....Meeting Kait for the first time and showing her how to lock the door.....saying something meaningful to a deaf person for the first time in my life.....Valerie and i getting hugged by fifty kids at the Jamadianle nursery school.....Children carrying chickens in bags.....A tarantula climbing up my bathroom wall and a flash of recognition on my behalf that yes, i do have mild arachnophobia.....Seeing a shooting star for the first time ever and making a wish.....Dancing to Makossa in Mamfe.....A red Colobus monkey silhouetted against the sky.....Sitting under an avocado tree in Buea university discussing politics.....Watching the sun set over the Atlantic ocean sipping on a beer.....Staring up at the forest canopy whilst floating on my back.....Hearing gunshots and tear gas and almost pooping my pants.....Chasing baby Clara round a table.....Going to Limbe with Meredith and Ernest and the door to the bus falling off.....Snapping Ines as she had her first ever slice of pizza.....Looking into a witch doctors eyes and wondering if he really believes what he is saying.....Teaching for the first time with thirty confused faces staring back at me.....Driving down a mountain road into Bamenda.....Being humbled by everybody at the Buea school for the deaf when i donated some books.....The kids in Bokova all cheering when we arrived for school on wheels.....Watching the coolest thunderstorm that lit up the entire sky.....
I'm sorry if some of that didn't make sense but it was nice for me to remember all those times.
Monday, 30 June 2008
Friday, 27 June 2008
Bye bye Berit
Cameroonians like a shindig, their celebrations are not done by halves. Funerals can last up to a week and if you get married forget about a honeymoon, you've got a million hands to shake.
Yesterday, Berit's leaving do at the Orock house was not the first party we had to attend. Sam, a nice boy in the neighborhood with a promising artistic talent, invited us to his house for his Aunts graduation from teachers training college.
We said our hellos and shook hands with everybody and i impressed them with my Pidgin English. The lady of the hour showed us her prizes she took including 'Best all round student'. I believe i said congratulations about 97 times. They sat us down and gave us popcorn and beer and we watched as the old granny of the house danced about singing a song of praise with the rather humorous line 'Finally, finally, finally the Lord has done it'. Yes well done to Jesus and to the future teacher for all her hard work and study.
We said our goodbyes and congratulations a further 64 times and headed into the night towards the Orock house. The tradition for a volunteers send-off is a good bit of grub and beer then we all give speeches, but this time there was even entertainment in the form of the wee girls putting on a dance and song about that lovely man Jesus, it was all very sweet. Berit was presented with a lovely African dress and it was a nice end to the evening.
We were all partied out and when i was sitting on the porch i thought about all the volunteers who have come and gone and all their leaving parties that i have been to, Well now i was the next volunteer leaving and the next party would be mine, and that prospect scares me a little.
Yesterday, Berit's leaving do at the Orock house was not the first party we had to attend. Sam, a nice boy in the neighborhood with a promising artistic talent, invited us to his house for his Aunts graduation from teachers training college.
We said our hellos and shook hands with everybody and i impressed them with my Pidgin English. The lady of the hour showed us her prizes she took including 'Best all round student'. I believe i said congratulations about 97 times. They sat us down and gave us popcorn and beer and we watched as the old granny of the house danced about singing a song of praise with the rather humorous line 'Finally, finally, finally the Lord has done it'. Yes well done to Jesus and to the future teacher for all her hard work and study.
We said our goodbyes and congratulations a further 64 times and headed into the night towards the Orock house. The tradition for a volunteers send-off is a good bit of grub and beer then we all give speeches, but this time there was even entertainment in the form of the wee girls putting on a dance and song about that lovely man Jesus, it was all very sweet. Berit was presented with a lovely African dress and it was a nice end to the evening.
We were all partied out and when i was sitting on the porch i thought about all the volunteers who have come and gone and all their leaving parties that i have been to, Well now i was the next volunteer leaving and the next party would be mine, and that prospect scares me a little.
Saturday, 21 June 2008
I feel free
When i get up every morning under the African sky i never know what's going to happen to me.
Yesterday i got up and did my laundry then i went to the internet. When i came home i started having vicious stomach cramps, so i knew my day would be spent in the company of my porcelin friend. I had really bad sickness and diaorreaha, It was truly awful.
I have been taking some traditional medicine that Ines' Mum made fom me, it is made from Guinness and some herbs, it has a dark mint-green colour and it was supposed to help me with my yeast problem. Maybe it helped me by totally cleansing my system, as i sit in an internet cafe here in Buea, i do feel a lot better if not extremely dehydrated.
Tomorrow i go to Mamfe again and i just don't know what's going to happen. It's exciting living like this, now that i'm not shackled to the toilet and other constraints in life, i feel completely free....
The internet in Mamfe is not what Bill Gates dreamt of, so i will be back in 5 days or so with more news.
Toodle pip
Yesterday i got up and did my laundry then i went to the internet. When i came home i started having vicious stomach cramps, so i knew my day would be spent in the company of my porcelin friend. I had really bad sickness and diaorreaha, It was truly awful.
I have been taking some traditional medicine that Ines' Mum made fom me, it is made from Guinness and some herbs, it has a dark mint-green colour and it was supposed to help me with my yeast problem. Maybe it helped me by totally cleansing my system, as i sit in an internet cafe here in Buea, i do feel a lot better if not extremely dehydrated.
Tomorrow i go to Mamfe again and i just don't know what's going to happen. It's exciting living like this, now that i'm not shackled to the toilet and other constraints in life, i feel completely free....
The internet in Mamfe is not what Bill Gates dreamt of, so i will be back in 5 days or so with more news.
Toodle pip
Friday, 20 June 2008
Buea Boy
The Buea boy is back in town. It's always nice to get back to Buea and see everyone again. All the kids at the Orock house greet me warmly and Frederique 'my friend' at Abidjan actually hugged me, just overjoyed to see me again, it's all rather lovely.
This last month has just dissapeared. I've done so much and had so much fun and the time has flown by. Now time is running out.
The thing i have to do now is start thinking about what i have to do before i leave. Mainly buy a few more presents for everyone and print a few hundred photos of people here (a stipulation of snapping someone is you must give them a copy). I want to try and get that done before i go to Mamfe on Sunday. I also have to work on a new fundraising proposal for UAC and send about a million emails to charities and donar organisations. I also have to write a report for Africa Trust about my stay here.
Ahhhh!!! I'm running out of time!!!
Nice story today. I had just finished scrubbing my laundry and i was sitting relaxing listening to me ipod on the porch when Sandra, one of the cute wee kids in the neighbourhood came to say hello. I let her listen to a track of the new Jose Gonzalez album and she listened to the whole track intently. She was fascinated by it and when she had finished she said "He sounds sad, but sad things can be beautiful" Which i thought was incredibly profound for a nine year old girl.
This last month has just dissapeared. I've done so much and had so much fun and the time has flown by. Now time is running out.
The thing i have to do now is start thinking about what i have to do before i leave. Mainly buy a few more presents for everyone and print a few hundred photos of people here (a stipulation of snapping someone is you must give them a copy). I want to try and get that done before i go to Mamfe on Sunday. I also have to work on a new fundraising proposal for UAC and send about a million emails to charities and donar organisations. I also have to write a report for Africa Trust about my stay here.
Ahhhh!!! I'm running out of time!!!
Nice story today. I had just finished scrubbing my laundry and i was sitting relaxing listening to me ipod on the porch when Sandra, one of the cute wee kids in the neighbourhood came to say hello. I let her listen to a track of the new Jose Gonzalez album and she listened to the whole track intently. She was fascinated by it and when she had finished she said "He sounds sad, but sad things can be beautiful" Which i thought was incredibly profound for a nine year old girl.
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Bamenda
Bamenda is cool, i like Bamenda. It is affectionately termed 'Russia' by Cameroonians due to its climate, but the temperature is fine by me as i'm not sweating bullets 24/7. There's been a nice breeze today and a bit of drizzle. Lovely weather.
We went on a wee tour today, we visited the old town and a giant market. Men clicked their fingers at me and blew me kisses to try and get my attention and business.
"Oh White! What do you want, what do you need?"
"Nothing thanks, as you're selling illegal pharmaceutical drugs, good-day to you sir"
I bought some gifts for friends and family (not street paracetamol) and we wandered through the brown streets to an old bar for an afternoon beer.
Bamenda lies in a natural basin surrounded by cliffs and mountains, there are two waterfalls visable from most parts of the city, it's quite a spectacular site. There is only one road into the metropolis and it's a steep one, the hill is at such a deathly gradient that they have built a run-off crash ramp at the bottom of it incase your brakes fail on the way down. Ingenious.
Someone who is of a cynical mindset could look at cities in Cameroon and come to the conclusion they are shabby, tired and dilapidated. Not me though, i like them. The buildings and huts that jut out of the land fill the space in a versatile and oblique way, it's like they are part of the earth, the cities are organic.
The roads are bloody terrible though....
Ines and i were sitting having a beer the other day when we witnessed a car fall into a hole!! People all scrambled round to push it out. Normality. Much of the damage on the roads has been the effect of the fuel strike where crazy boys decided to set alight to tires on the tarmac. It all adds up to a bumpy, perilous ride in a taxi.
Bamenda is also home to the 'Social Democrat Front' (SDF) who are the main opposing party tp Paul Biya's 'Cameroon Peoples Democratic Movement' (CPDM). Ebiebi is the leader of the SDF and we visited his craft shop today. The motto of the party is "Power to the people" and never have John Lennons' words been more meaningful. I bought an old drunk a beer the other night and he gave us his tale of woe about Biya's Cameroon. "That man in Yaounde has given us nothing, we work and work and we have nothing" These sentiments are widely held in places like Bamenda.
So i leave tomorrow back to Buea. I've had fun playing with Ines' sun Paul and her wee two year old cousin Ryan. They think i'm their own personal clown, everything i do is apparently hilarious to them. Ines' mother has been very hospitable and i've ate really well.
I'm going to say goodbye to the place this evening when Ines and i go find a restaurant that sells pizza. I'll see Bamenda by night.
We went on a wee tour today, we visited the old town and a giant market. Men clicked their fingers at me and blew me kisses to try and get my attention and business.
"Oh White! What do you want, what do you need?"
"Nothing thanks, as you're selling illegal pharmaceutical drugs, good-day to you sir"
I bought some gifts for friends and family (not street paracetamol) and we wandered through the brown streets to an old bar for an afternoon beer.
Bamenda lies in a natural basin surrounded by cliffs and mountains, there are two waterfalls visable from most parts of the city, it's quite a spectacular site. There is only one road into the metropolis and it's a steep one, the hill is at such a deathly gradient that they have built a run-off crash ramp at the bottom of it incase your brakes fail on the way down. Ingenious.
Someone who is of a cynical mindset could look at cities in Cameroon and come to the conclusion they are shabby, tired and dilapidated. Not me though, i like them. The buildings and huts that jut out of the land fill the space in a versatile and oblique way, it's like they are part of the earth, the cities are organic.
The roads are bloody terrible though....
Ines and i were sitting having a beer the other day when we witnessed a car fall into a hole!! People all scrambled round to push it out. Normality. Much of the damage on the roads has been the effect of the fuel strike where crazy boys decided to set alight to tires on the tarmac. It all adds up to a bumpy, perilous ride in a taxi.
Bamenda is also home to the 'Social Democrat Front' (SDF) who are the main opposing party tp Paul Biya's 'Cameroon Peoples Democratic Movement' (CPDM). Ebiebi is the leader of the SDF and we visited his craft shop today. The motto of the party is "Power to the people" and never have John Lennons' words been more meaningful. I bought an old drunk a beer the other night and he gave us his tale of woe about Biya's Cameroon. "That man in Yaounde has given us nothing, we work and work and we have nothing" These sentiments are widely held in places like Bamenda.
So i leave tomorrow back to Buea. I've had fun playing with Ines' sun Paul and her wee two year old cousin Ryan. They think i'm their own personal clown, everything i do is apparently hilarious to them. Ines' mother has been very hospitable and i've ate really well.
I'm going to say goodbye to the place this evening when Ines and i go find a restaurant that sells pizza. I'll see Bamenda by night.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Back to the future
The mist on the mountain was thick, gray and heavy so we lit some candles. Alfred was ready to tell me my future and i was ready to hear it.
I sat in front of him in his traditional mud house. I was asked to sit perfectly straight and to not fold my arms or cross my legs. He brought out a small container holding corries, cola-nut shells and old beer bottle tops. He presented the container to me and asked that i put my hand over it. He then poured the contents and they scattered erratically on the mud floor. He ran his fingers over the pieces then looked me straight in the eye, it was incredibly intimidating but also fascinating at the same time. He looked back at the scattered assortment of flotsam on the floor and exuded an ominous grumbling.
He did not speak English so Ines translated from Pidgin, it was time to ask him some questions. I first of all asked what i was going to do when i left Cameroon. He said what i'm doing is very important here and when i go back i may have to leave again as someone will want me to work for them. I am also going to get a promotion and maybe work for the government.
I asked him will i ever get married? He gave me a wry smile and said 'why do you ask questions that you already know the answer to'. Will i have any kids? Back to the floor studying the chaos, a grumbling sound emitted then he stared at me and said 'yes, you will have a girl then a boy'. I asked him about my family, he said my sister Yolanda will go traveling and when she returns she will have a baby.
This was all pretty specific so i decided to inquire if i will ever get to see the world? A look, a grumble and a stare 'No' was his simple disappointing reply.
'What will happen to my friends?' He asked for a name and the first person i could think of was Phil. He said Phil will do well in life but he will have an accident, it will not be serious, but if he's not careful, it will happen.
As though this wasn't surreal enough a wee baby goat wandered into the room and stared at me, it then walked over to the candle on the floop and i had to stop it from burning its nose.
Now let me say that the universe is a pretty awesome place and all the secrets of why we are here are not yet defined, despite what the good books say. The world is magical and abundant with mystery. However, i don't believe we as humans have magic powers. I don't believe in miracles because they are illogical and have no place in a universe that has stringent laws of nature at its very core. So when a man looks at some shells and bottle tops and claims to see the myriad of possibilities and consequences that occur to shape the future, i'm afraid i become skeptical. This is something Ines and i debate quite frequently and no matter how many stories she has heard will convince me. It's all wish-thinking and we all can dream pretty big when we put our minds to it.
So i have seen an African witch doctor which is pretty cool, something to tell the grandkids sometime in the unwritten future.....
I sat in front of him in his traditional mud house. I was asked to sit perfectly straight and to not fold my arms or cross my legs. He brought out a small container holding corries, cola-nut shells and old beer bottle tops. He presented the container to me and asked that i put my hand over it. He then poured the contents and they scattered erratically on the mud floor. He ran his fingers over the pieces then looked me straight in the eye, it was incredibly intimidating but also fascinating at the same time. He looked back at the scattered assortment of flotsam on the floor and exuded an ominous grumbling.
He did not speak English so Ines translated from Pidgin, it was time to ask him some questions. I first of all asked what i was going to do when i left Cameroon. He said what i'm doing is very important here and when i go back i may have to leave again as someone will want me to work for them. I am also going to get a promotion and maybe work for the government.
I asked him will i ever get married? He gave me a wry smile and said 'why do you ask questions that you already know the answer to'. Will i have any kids? Back to the floor studying the chaos, a grumbling sound emitted then he stared at me and said 'yes, you will have a girl then a boy'. I asked him about my family, he said my sister Yolanda will go traveling and when she returns she will have a baby.
This was all pretty specific so i decided to inquire if i will ever get to see the world? A look, a grumble and a stare 'No' was his simple disappointing reply.
'What will happen to my friends?' He asked for a name and the first person i could think of was Phil. He said Phil will do well in life but he will have an accident, it will not be serious, but if he's not careful, it will happen.
As though this wasn't surreal enough a wee baby goat wandered into the room and stared at me, it then walked over to the candle on the floop and i had to stop it from burning its nose.
Now let me say that the universe is a pretty awesome place and all the secrets of why we are here are not yet defined, despite what the good books say. The world is magical and abundant with mystery. However, i don't believe we as humans have magic powers. I don't believe in miracles because they are illogical and have no place in a universe that has stringent laws of nature at its very core. So when a man looks at some shells and bottle tops and claims to see the myriad of possibilities and consequences that occur to shape the future, i'm afraid i become skeptical. This is something Ines and i debate quite frequently and no matter how many stories she has heard will convince me. It's all wish-thinking and we all can dream pretty big when we put our minds to it.
So i have seen an African witch doctor which is pretty cool, something to tell the grandkids sometime in the unwritten future.....
Monday, 16 June 2008
Scotland in Cameroon
So i was awoken yesterday at the rude hour of 5.30A.M to get the bus to go see the witch doctor, Alfred. We took a packed wee bus into the highlands outside Bamenda to a small village named Babongu. We were stopped on the way by police looking for hand-outs. He seen me in the front seat and greeted me 'Bonjour Monsieur le blanc', funny guy, there's yer money pal, lets go.
We drove for about an hour through the most amazing landscape. There were high, jaggy volcanic mountains that seemed out of place amongst the vast, flat planes. I watched the sun climb in the sky as we climbed up picturesque hills and valleys. It reminded me of Scotland with the green mountains, the only things that were different were the trees and the climate.
Our old bus chugged up the bumpy road into Babongu and from there it would be a four hour hike into the mountains to a village called Oku - the residence of the witch doctor, Alfred.
As we got out the bus the old character that was the driver tried to charge 1500CFA per person despite the fact that Ines and her mum always pay 1300CFA, we eventually got him to play fair and drop the white man tax, which he did grudgingly.
Ines, her mother, her sister Emily and me started strolling through Babongu. They said the town was known for the wickedness of its inhabitants so i just smiled and waved at the faces consumed with fixed, fascinated stares at this Scottish white man who had decided to wander into town. It felt like everyone was staring at me, because they were. I have kind of gotten used to people staring at me in Africa, white men are a minority here and to see one is very rare unless you're in a big city. People are usually like 'Oh there's a white man', but here people were like 'HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS, LOOK THERE'S A BLOODY WHITE MAN!!!' It was a pretty strange feeling.
We began the hike up the mountain to Oku. It was a beautiful day and thanks to the altitude, not too hot. We climbed through the most awesome, picturesque scenery, it was the highlands of Scotland with mosquitoes. For a few moments i forgot myself and i was glad to be home. The ascent was pretty tough but we stopped regularly and i dipped my face in a stream from a waterfall that fell from high up above us. We ate delicious sardine sandwiches and some avocado to keep us going. We climbed on.
After about four hours we reached the tiny village of Oku high in the mountains of Cameroon. News quickly spread that there was a white man in town and people peered and peeped from windows and kids stopped and stared with fixed expressions of wonder as i passed. A wee baby started crying when i looked at her, i was probably the first white person she had ever seen and it was clearly a traumatic experience for her. It all kind of made me feel uneasy to tell you the truth, but we were in a secluded village in the heart of Africa, it's probably not an every day occurrance to see a white man cut into town.
We reached Alfred's traditional mud hut just before it started raining. It was made from a warm deep kind of Martian red earth and there was a steep thatched roof perched on top. He wasn't in when we arrived but he had left the door open, apparently he knew we were coming. it was so unbelievably peaceful and the only sounds around were the tree frogs. Then we heard a rustle in the distance as Alfred bounded through the bush. He seemed like an amiable chap with a funny, infectious laugh and the most piercing dark eyes that i have ever looked into. I asked if there was any beer up here and amazingly there was!! I bought everyone a beer and as i sat to drink i was amazed by humanity and there strong desire for the yeast beast that they would cart it up a bloody mountain. Good on them. It tasted lovely.
We relaxed and Ines and her family caught up with with Alfred. He only spoke Pidgin so i only understood a little. But they told me that two years ago he told Ines that she would bring a white man to his house. Here i was. When he was talking i'd look over and he was just staring at me in the most intense manner. I wondered if he was trying to read my mind.
I tried to have a sleep when food was being prepared and a first happened to me in Cameroon, i was cold!! yes my teeth were chattering and my lips were turning blue and it was amazing. It really was like Scotland in Cameroon, instead of Edinburgh we called the place Okuburgh.
After we ate it was time for Alfred to tell me the future. I asked some personal questions and i also asked about some of you guys. So if you're skeptical like me, please take it with a pinch of salt.
Tomorrow i see the future......
We drove for about an hour through the most amazing landscape. There were high, jaggy volcanic mountains that seemed out of place amongst the vast, flat planes. I watched the sun climb in the sky as we climbed up picturesque hills and valleys. It reminded me of Scotland with the green mountains, the only things that were different were the trees and the climate.
Our old bus chugged up the bumpy road into Babongu and from there it would be a four hour hike into the mountains to a village called Oku - the residence of the witch doctor, Alfred.
As we got out the bus the old character that was the driver tried to charge 1500CFA per person despite the fact that Ines and her mum always pay 1300CFA, we eventually got him to play fair and drop the white man tax, which he did grudgingly.
Ines, her mother, her sister Emily and me started strolling through Babongu. They said the town was known for the wickedness of its inhabitants so i just smiled and waved at the faces consumed with fixed, fascinated stares at this Scottish white man who had decided to wander into town. It felt like everyone was staring at me, because they were. I have kind of gotten used to people staring at me in Africa, white men are a minority here and to see one is very rare unless you're in a big city. People are usually like 'Oh there's a white man', but here people were like 'HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS, LOOK THERE'S A BLOODY WHITE MAN!!!' It was a pretty strange feeling.
We began the hike up the mountain to Oku. It was a beautiful day and thanks to the altitude, not too hot. We climbed through the most awesome, picturesque scenery, it was the highlands of Scotland with mosquitoes. For a few moments i forgot myself and i was glad to be home. The ascent was pretty tough but we stopped regularly and i dipped my face in a stream from a waterfall that fell from high up above us. We ate delicious sardine sandwiches and some avocado to keep us going. We climbed on.
After about four hours we reached the tiny village of Oku high in the mountains of Cameroon. News quickly spread that there was a white man in town and people peered and peeped from windows and kids stopped and stared with fixed expressions of wonder as i passed. A wee baby started crying when i looked at her, i was probably the first white person she had ever seen and it was clearly a traumatic experience for her. It all kind of made me feel uneasy to tell you the truth, but we were in a secluded village in the heart of Africa, it's probably not an every day occurrance to see a white man cut into town.
We reached Alfred's traditional mud hut just before it started raining. It was made from a warm deep kind of Martian red earth and there was a steep thatched roof perched on top. He wasn't in when we arrived but he had left the door open, apparently he knew we were coming. it was so unbelievably peaceful and the only sounds around were the tree frogs. Then we heard a rustle in the distance as Alfred bounded through the bush. He seemed like an amiable chap with a funny, infectious laugh and the most piercing dark eyes that i have ever looked into. I asked if there was any beer up here and amazingly there was!! I bought everyone a beer and as i sat to drink i was amazed by humanity and there strong desire for the yeast beast that they would cart it up a bloody mountain. Good on them. It tasted lovely.
We relaxed and Ines and her family caught up with with Alfred. He only spoke Pidgin so i only understood a little. But they told me that two years ago he told Ines that she would bring a white man to his house. Here i was. When he was talking i'd look over and he was just staring at me in the most intense manner. I wondered if he was trying to read my mind.
I tried to have a sleep when food was being prepared and a first happened to me in Cameroon, i was cold!! yes my teeth were chattering and my lips were turning blue and it was amazing. It really was like Scotland in Cameroon, instead of Edinburgh we called the place Okuburgh.
After we ate it was time for Alfred to tell me the future. I asked some personal questions and i also asked about some of you guys. So if you're skeptical like me, please take it with a pinch of salt.
Tomorrow i see the future......
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